


scratchy white sheets

by smolsicky



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, also titled I LOVE REMUS LUPIN, the marauders era fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 17:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20178400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolsicky/pseuds/smolsicky
Summary: what happened after that incident with snape and the whomping willow?





	scratchy white sheets

Remus wasn’t aware of anything but the scratchy sheets he was resting on (which he was well accustomed to) and the sound of James’s voice. It was disconcerting to hear it so sweet and pleading. It was his ‘I’m desperately trying to get something I want and I don’t care if you know it’ voice. 

“Just for a little bit, Madam Pomfrey? Please?” 

James was closer to him now, but Remus was slipping farther and farther away from him. It wasn’t until he found himself fighting a dragon at his childhood playground that he realized he might be asleep once again. 

…..

Remus’s eyes fluttered, and then flew open at the great creaking noise James made when he shot straight up from his post, sitting in the hospital bed next to him. 

“Hey Rem. How’re you feelin’?” he said softly, his ‘I’m trying not to baby you but I’m very very worried about you’ voice. James had a whole host of voices, each perfectly suited for a specific situation, and Remus knew each one of them in and out.

Remus cleared his throat, a task which took valiant effort, and turned his head slightly to look at his friend.

“James?” His voice came out a rasp, and he cleared his throat again, his cheeks flushed.

“James, what happened last night?”

James paused and furrowed his brow before saying, “Well, what do you remember?”

Remus gave a little whimper as he pushed himself up to a less prone position. 

“Not very much? You were there. And Severus… Severus was there. And he was scared. And I was mad. Why was Severus there? Is he okay? What did I do? Did I hurt him?” Remus was spiraling, his breath quickening. He felt his chest clenching when James reached out and grabbed his hand. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s alright. You didn’t do anything. I handled it.” James’s voice was a low rumble as he moved to sit on Remus’s bed.

“Why did you have to handle it? Why was he there?” Remus was close to tears now, and normally he would be embarrassed to be acting like this in front of someone but he was beyond that now. What if the worst that could happen had happened?

James hesitated for a moment before answering. “Rem… Snape saw you going in to the Whomping Willow, and he went in after you. He knows.”

This was it. It was over. Remus would be going back home. He would never again be welcome at Hogwarts. “But how did he get in? It closes after me. It always does.”

This time James hesitated for more than a moment before responding. “Sirius... may or may not have shown him how to open it.”

Remus tried to stand up, but stars danced in his vision and he didn’t feel himself fall so much as he noticed that James was suddenly holding him very tightly and then gently returning him to those scratchy sheets. 

“I have to talk to him.” Remus kept his eyes closed (standing up had been a horrible idea, he wasn’t entirely sure at the moment that he wouldn’t throw up) but his voice was strong. 

“To Sirius? He’s waiting in the hall, I can go get him right now.” This was clearly more than James could’ve hoped for. He had leapt off the bed, and was positively beaming at the thought of his two dearest friends reconciling.

“No. No, no. I have to talk to Severus.” Remus couldn’t think of anyone he wanted to talk less to than Sirius right then. “This is all my fault, I have to try and fix this.”

“Ok, first off this isn’t your fault. I don’t think you should talk to Snape anyways, you don’t owe him anything. It’s that piece of shit’s fault anyways, he shouldn’t have been snooping around.”

Remus mustered up a small smile. James really loved him, really believed that he was good and pure, even if he was anything but. Sometimes he had a hard time believing this was really happening to him. “I could’ve hurt him, and it would’ve been my fault. Even if he was looking around. Do you think you could find him for me? Please?” Remus threw in his best pleading smile, one which he knew James had no power against.

James held out for an admirable amount of time before folding. “Ok. Ok. I’ll look for him.” 

….

Sirius came to visit a few hours later, right when Remus was smack dab in the middle of doing his paper on the various healing properties of unicorns. When the door opened, Remus had looked up expectantly, hoping to see James return with Severus in tow. Upon finding Sirius awkwardly standing in the doorway, he returned to getting more ink onto his quill. 

Sirius moved to the foot of Remus’s bed, and stood there, looking terribly uncomfortable and out of place. It was a testament to how well Sirius knew that he had fucked up, because normally Sirius felt at home anywhere. The world was here for him, nowhere was unwelcome territory.

“Cheers.” he said, looking like a kicked puppy. 

Remus replied stiffly, “Sirius.”

Sirius paused for a second, clearing grappling with himself before he said “I’m sorry.”

Remus completely ignored this. “Where’s James?”

Sirius blinked, clearly expecting an outburst rather than a freeze out, before replying. “Him and Snivellus got in a fight. Remus, I’m sorry, okay?”

Remus was mad now. “Sirius, do you understand that I could’ve killed him? That you could’ve made me a murder? And I would’ve had no say in it, but it still would’ve been my fault?”

“I know. I know, it was stupid. But he was snooping around. He would’ve caught you!”

“Did you do it for me though?”

“Of course I did, what the hell do you mean?”

At this, Remus set his quill down. Ink splattered the white sheets, but for some reason Remus couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“Sirius, you did it because you hate Severus. Not for any other reason. Don’t pretend that you did it for me.”

Sirius whispered “Remus.”

“I’m going to need you to leave. Please”

Sirius looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. “I’m sorry Remus, I’m really really sorry”.

Remus looked at him. This boy, with his wild hair and his wild mind. Normally he could excuse his behavior, passing it off as acting out or all in good fun. But not this. This would take time to forgive.

“Sirius, I’m going to need a little time.” Remus whispered, but his voice filled the room.

Sirius bit his lip, hard, and leaned over and kissed Remus on the forehead. 

“Okay. Let me know when you’re ready.”

And with that, Sirius turned and left the hospital wing.


End file.
